Candace Cameron Bure’s “Submissive” Marriage Role


Are you submissive to your man?

According to Full House alum, Candace Cameron Bure, her husband is the one in charge.

In her new book, Balancing It All: My Story of Juggling Priorities and Purpose, the mom of three kids – daughter Natasha, 15, and sons Lev, 13, and Maksim, 11 - says she has a “submissive role” to her husband, former hockey star Valeri Bure. During a recent appearance on HuffPost Live, she defended her views on marriage.

“The definition I’m using with the word ‘submissive’ is the biblical definition of that,” Candace explained. “So, it is meekness, it is not weakness. It is strength under control, it is bridled strength. And that’s what I choose to have in my marriage.”

Following is the excerpt of the book where Candace talks about being “submissive.”

“My husband is a natural-born leader,” she wrote. “I quickly learned that I had to find a way of honoring his take-charge personality and not get frustrated about his desire to have the final decision on just about everything. I am not a passive person, but I chose to fall into a more submissive role in our relationship because I wanted to do everything in my power to make my marriage and family work.”

The former child star, 37, told HuffPost that she stands by those words, and is happy with her 17-year marriage.

“Listen, I love that my man is a leader. I want him to lead and be the head of our family and those major decisions do fall on him,” she shared. “It doesn’t mean I don’t voice my opinion and it doesn’t mean I don’t have an opinion—I absolutely do but it is very difficult to have two heads of authority. It doesn’t work…And when you’re competing with two heads that can pose a lot of problems or issues. So within my marriage we are equal in our importance, but we are different in our performances in our marriage.”

When pushed about a section of her book in which she wrote that her husband is always right even if they disagree, she said, “It doesn’t mean he’s right—I allow him to make the final choice.”


I must admit, that “S” word really makes my skin crawl. But I hear what she is saying — men respond well to a leadership role in the family. And, sometimes, pretending that he is right smooths things over.

That said, my hubby doesn’t always get the final choice. My opinion matters – as does his – on any given subject, and he will not get the final say simply because he has a penis. And you will never hear me utter the words: “I am submissive to my husband.” End of story, no negotiations whatsoever.

What do you think of Candace’s “submissive” comments? Nauseating or empowering?

View All Photos »»

Leave a comment »»

Filed under: Carousel

Photo credit: Facebook

Post a Comment

  1. Jennifer Pharis

    Thanks for perpetuating misogyny and gender stereotyping, Cameron and Jenny.

    Look, if you can’t handle the pressure of being an adult and making adult decisions, that’s one thing. But don’t marry a control freak and rationalize it by saying you submit to the “biblical” definition of what amounts to being a slave.

    If your husband absolutely has to have the final say, it’s not about leadership, it’s about power. He doesn’t respect you – he wants power over you. And you’re giving it to him.

    Adults who respect each other share the leadership role. They demonstrate to their children that women and men have equality and mutual respect in family decisions. How long can you go giving all the power to your spouse until you’re fed up? For Cameron it looks like 17 years and still trying to look like the perfect family. Puh-leez.

    I shudder to think of the outmoded and harmful gender roles that are being set for the children. The daughter is going to grow up not realizing her full potential because she’s brainwashed into thinking she needs a man to tell her what to do. The boys are going to grow up looking for the power and control their father never allowed them to have, and the abusive cycle will continue.

    This is a pretty awful way to live, folks. I know the bible brigade is shaking their head at me saying, “you just don’t understand.” On the contrary, I understand all too clearly. It’s why I know this abusive lifestyle is wrong and dangerous. I choose not to live in denial.

  2. Pingback: Candace Cameron Bure Enjoys Girls’ Night In |Parkkar Lifestyles and News

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>