Are you submissive to your man?
According to Full House alum, Candace Cameron Bure, her husband is the one in charge.
In her new book, Balancing It All: My Story of Juggling Priorities and Purpose, the mom of three kids – daughter Natasha, 15, and sons Lev, 13, and Maksim, 11 – says she has a “submissive role” to her husband, former hockey star Valeri Bure. During a recent appearance on HuffPost Live, she defended her views on marriage.
“The definition I’m using with the word ‘submissive’ is the biblical definition of that,” Candace explained. “So, it is meekness, it is not weakness. It is strength under control, it is bridled strength. And that’s what I choose to have in my marriage.”
Following is the excerpt of the book where Candace talks about being “submissive.”
“My husband is a natural-born leader,” she wrote. “I quickly learned that I had to find a way of honoring his take-charge personality and not get frustrated about his desire to have the final decision on just about everything. I am not a passive person, but I chose to fall into a more submissive role in our relationship because I wanted to do everything in my power to make my marriage and family work.”
The former child star, 37, told HuffPost that she stands by those words, and is happy with her 17-year marriage.
“Listen, I love that my man is a leader. I want him to lead and be the head of our family and those major decisions do fall on him,” she shared. “It doesn’t mean I don’t voice my opinion and it doesn’t mean I don’t have an opinion—I absolutely do but it is very difficult to have two heads of authority. It doesn’t work…And when you’re competing with two heads that can pose a lot of problems or issues. So within my marriage we are equal in our importance, but we are different in our performances in our marriage.”
When pushed about a section of her book in which she wrote that her husband is always right even if they disagree, she said, “It doesn’t mean he’s right—I allow him to make the final choice.”
I must admit, that “S” word really makes my skin crawl. But I hear what she is saying — men respond well to a leadership role in the family. And, sometimes, pretending that he is right smooths things over.
That said, my hubby doesn’t always get the final choice. My opinion matters – as does his – on any given subject, and he will not get the final say simply because he has a penis. And you will never hear me utter the words: “I am submissive to my husband.” End of story, no negotiations whatsoever.
What do you think of Candace’s “submissive” comments? Nauseating or empowering?