Guest Blog: Gift-Giving & Social Media Etiquette

marshmellow fluff

Hey girl, wanna talk manners?

In our latest guest blog, Julie Cole, the co-founder of Mabel’s Labels, shares a cautionary tale regarding social media and instant fame.

Julie Cole, also known in the blogging world as “The Mama of Many,” is the co-founder of Mabel’s Labels Inc., the labels for the stuff kids lose, and the proud mom of six. Read her blogs at www.mabelhood.com and www.thebabymachine.com. Follow her on twitter @juliecole.

Continue reading her story about gift-giving, and the larger picture of carefully choosing what we post on our texts, timelines and pages.

“A friend on a neighborhood online mom’s group recently posted a situation she wanted some feedback on. She and her husband had recently attended the wedding of a former co-worker. As a gift, she had thoughtfully put together a beautiful basket overflowing with special foods and treats, including some fun things like candy and marshmallow fluff. On the card she wrote “Life is delicious!”

The next day she received a text from the bride, explaining that she was gluten intolerant and as such, she would like the receipt. Shortly thereafter, the other newlywed texts my friend and writes, “I want to thank you for coming to the wedding Friday. I’m not sure if it’s the first wedding you have been to, but for your next wedding … People give envelopes. I lost out on $200 covering you and your dates plate … And got fluffy whip and sour patch kids in return. Just a heads up for the future :).”

My friend posted this because she wanted advice on how to proceed with the situation, and let me assure you, advice she got!

Within an hour there were 200 comments and within a day the online group was pretty much exploding with anger over the rude message the gift-givers received.

The next thing you know, the story is relayed to the local media and within a day it has gone completely viral – in national newspapers, on call-in radio shows and shared all over social media. I suspect the newlyweds had a very stressful honeymoon when they discovered their new-found fame.

Everyone is talking about wedding etiquette and gift giving – it’s been the focus of the story – but I see a bigger lesson here. In the age of social media, you can become instantly famous for all the wrong reasons.

So let this be a tale of caution. Be careful with your words, because what you think is a private exchange might end up as tomorrow’s headlines.”

In HerScoop’s humble opinion, I felt the newlyweds were rude and should’ve kept their opinions to themselves. Their snarky attitudes were repaid in insta-karma via today’s social media obsession.

However, they made a good point.

After having a ‘big fat Italian wedding’ of my own ten years ago, I was shocked at some of the cheap wedding gifts we received. Would I want a gift basket of foods for a gift? No. Were we getting hitched for the gifts? No. But we paid a pretty penny for our six course meal and open bar, and guests should take this into account when gifting a newlywed couple.

The rule of thumb? Stick to cash or the gift registry. Each guest should give $50/each as a gift. So if a couple attends a wedding, they should give the newlyweds $100 in cash, or a gift worth that amount.

What do you think about this story? Who was in the wrong?

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  1. Appalling

    We were invited to a wedding once where we were invited to the service & reception, but not the dinner. To each their own. We chose not to attend at all, because as we saw it, if you’re splitting people up for the celebration, then that pretentious space is not a place we want to partake in.

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