Are you trying to convince your husband/partner to get a vasectomy?
Maybe you’re done having children – or you don’t want kids at all – and you’re looking into permanent birth control. When weighing the options, it sure seems like a vasectomy is the easiest and least-invasive of procedures. So why isn’t your man making the appointment?!
No need to get snippy, fellas!
Our latest guest blogger, Mark Dal Ponte, shares his own vasectomy experience, calling it “very non invasive.” He goes on to describe the “10 minute” procedure, calling it “a piece of cake.”
Continue reading Mark’s decision to have permanent birth control, stating that a lot men are afraid of the simple procedure due to “a lack of knowledge.” In his candid blog, Mark goes on to say that men can be “selfish about not having a vasectomy,” adding that many need to “man up” and get the procedure to “respect” their woman.
In his own words, here is Mark’s vasectomy experience….
“I had my vasectomy, I think 4 or 5 years ago. I’m 40 now. At the time, I was in a long term relationship. My partner, at the time, had two children to whom I was stepdad for many years. They were getting to the age where we finally had some time to ourselves, you know, we could trust that the house would still be intact if we left them alone for an hour or two.
Basically, we didn’t want to start over with a new baby at that point in our lives. I was confident that I would not want any children in the future, based on the fact I was getting close to 40 and, at the time, I did not foresee me being single.
Regardless of my relationship status, I don’t regret at all having the procedure. There are moments when I wonder what it would be like to have children of my own, but in all honesty, as I get older, those moments are fewer and farther between.
It was an easy decision for me. I was aware that it is a very non invasive procedure, and basically, I didnt want to have to trust (or distrust) my sex partner to be in charge of birth control. Also, I was aware of the fact that for women to have their tubes tied, etc., it is a much bigger procedure.
The procedure was a piece of cake. I went with the ‘no needle, no scalpel’ option offered by Dr. Pollock in Vancouver, Canada. It was literally 10 minutes out of my day.
I will admit some nervousness leading up to it, but as far as the procedure went, it wasn’t bad at all. Yes, there was a minute of… discomfort? Can’t say it was painful, but that said, there are some pretty sensitive parts down there, and no matter how good a surgeon, it feels not quite right.
After the operation, I spent a day or two lounging about in an athetic supporter, wearing baggy pants, and milking every bit of sympathy I could get from my ex. She was so appreciative of my having it done, that I was treated like a king for a few days.
There was some very minor bruising, and some tenderness for a few days, but after day four, I was dying to get back into action. By the end of the week, I was back to normal except for having to take it easy exercise wise.
By week two, I was playing hockey regularly. As for work, I had the surgery on Friday, and by Monday morning I was back to work.
In all honesty, the worst part is that they recommend a week before ejaculating, and for most guys, that is about 7 days too long.
Now that I am 40, and like to date women my own age, I have found it is often a selling feature! Many women (not that I slept with that many) are very happy to hear that birth control is a non issue. I have met a few women who wonder why I had the vasectomy without having any children, but once I explain the situation, they get it.
I am lucky to have a wonderful lady today, and there have been a few times where she was upset that we could not have children. I briefly looked into options — reversal, sperm removal, adoption, etc. But I really don’t want to start a family at my age and she agrees. She just gets that feeling once in awhile.
I would suggest to anyone considering a vasectomy that if there is any chance they may want children, to either postpone the procedure, or, have some sperm frozen. I believe most clinics offer that service.
I suspect there are many reasons for men being afraid of vasectomies. For some guys, they are paranoid about having a doctor sever anything in that region. Basically, I think men are wimps mostly. I mean, even the biggest, toughest guy is a total wussy when he catches a cold. Now magnify that by 100 when it involves their testicles.
A huge factor is lack of knowledge. Gone are the days of being knocked out and having your scrotum cut open and metal clamps places in your sack. I guess there are still doctors that do that method, but with modern medicine, it is really a very, very minor procedure.
I had a quick consultation, booked the surgery, and seriously was in the office for 15 minutes, tops. I had to sit in the waiting room longer than in the operating room, and the waiting was only to make sure I didn’t faint (apparently a lot of guys do).
As for men being selfish about not having a vasectomy, yes, they are. Do they not understand what a huge ordeal it is for a woman to get fixed? I guess, for so long, birth control has been the responsibility of the woman, so maybe that psyche is deeply rooted. Since I was not selfish about it, I can not fully understand the logic of guys who are opposed to it.
Advice for anyone thinking about a vasectomy is to do your research. Find out what procedures are available locally, or elsewhere. Most clinics have testimonials on their websites, and offer insight as to the whole procedures. In my case, I really liked what I read about Dr. Pollock, and was more than happy to travel to Vancouver.
Advice to men who refuse to get one? MAN UP! Stop being such a selfish wimp. Show your woman that you respect her, that you take responsibility for birth control, and that you aren’t afraid of a lil’ doctor’s visit. Honestly guys, your woman will think you are the greatest afterward.
These men who think that a vasectomy will ‘strip them of their manhood’ need to get a grip. They remove no body parts and, personally, I think these guys are just trying to find an excuse that women can’t really debate.
Again, the answer is education. If you learn about it, talk to a few different doctors, talk to men who’ve had it, I dont see how they can maintain that ridiculous line of thought.
I have heard a lot of men worry that sex wont be the same. Well, I speak from personal experience — the sex is fantastic after. I honestly cannot tell the difference as far as sensation and orgasm goes. It’s as wonderful as ever, and in fact, some people find sex even more rewarding after because they don’t have to worry about birth control.
And guys, there is nothing quite as nice as that first roll in the hay after the operation. Felt better than the first time ever, ’cause hopefully by now, you know what you are doing!
Basically, I recommend the procedure and can’t understand how some people can be so close-minded on the subject. As for what it’s like to be a man with a vasectomy, well, to be honest, it’s not something I really think about. Aside from the odd conversation with buddies debating having it done, it doesn’t often occur to me.
To those who are opposed to it, educate yourself. Ignorance may be bliss, but in this case, just leads to bad decisions.”
Thanks to Mark for his candid blog!
What is your experience? Does your man refuse to get a vasectomy? Did your beau “man up” and get permanent birth control?