My 20 Year High School Reunion: To Go or Not To Go?

Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle, my 20-year high school reunion is this summer.

In my small Canadian hometown of sagebrush, twin rivers and minor hockey, the KSS Class of ’93 is set to meet again.

Now before you start calling me old, let’s just remember that Donna Martin, Kelly Taylor and Brandon Walsh were also graduates of 1993.

Okay, so maybe Dylan’s multi-colored Picasso-esque shirt and David’s mustard pleated dress pants really do date us (P.S. who’s the guy on the end?).

But all that being said, I don’t look that different, do I? I’m the mature one in the back.

Here I am being mature again.

Good gawd, it’s worse than I thought.

(and a special thanks to the yearbook committee for the misspell)

So to go or not to go — that is the question.

Honestly, I want to attend and catch up. But I’m getting some serious resistance from my past classmates. When chatting with some of my pals, asking for the honor of their presence, I have heard the following responses:

“Hell no! There’s noooooo GD way I’m going. F*ck that!”
“I might be out of town that weekend. I’ll let you know.”
“My husband doesn’t want to go.” To which I responded, “Good, who the hell would bring their hubby?”
“The thought of socializing with people that I may or may not enjoy gives me hives.”
“I’m trying to understand what sounds fun about it. I’m not meaning that sarcastically, I just don’t get the appeal. What’s your driver?”
“Nervous a little… Do I start the diet? What do I wear? Am I still in a “tif” with that guy from gym class?”
“I was just saying the other day that “fortunately” I was never skinny in high school so no one’s expecting me to roll into the reunion as a size 0.. I feel I have less pressure than others.”

And maybe that last quote nails it. Is it all about keeping tabs on who has/has not maintained their hotness? A popularity contest all over again?

Or perhaps there’s a fear that this reunion – more so than the 10-year – is a true passage of time. Have I succeeded enough personally and professionally?

There’s no hiding our age (no we’re not 40 yet!), so that can’t be it.

Could it be that high school was an unpleasant experience and you don’t want to face that bully? Or perhaps some of you were naughty and you don’t want to face the past fling(s)?

Maybe Facebook has killed it for us? Do we really need a reunion when we already keep tabs/stalk our old pals online.

But I say we pull a Romy and Michele! Go in there like you own the joint, and kill ‘em with your confidence.

Easier said than done. I remember being bullied in high school. In fact, I’ll share a painful story with you in hopes of levelling the playing field for us all.

During a visit to the loo, some ‘mean girls’ entered while I was taking a wiz. Main mean girl said, “You know that Jen Schafer?” Another mean girl replied, “Yah, I know her.” (At that point I raised my feet while sitting on the can to escape an awkward encounter). Main mean girl said, “She’s nothing…you hear me, NOTHING without that hair.” The other mean girls agreed.

Do I feel the need to prove I’m something with or without my hair? Perhaps I do…perhaps I do.

Sure, I am worried my ex-boyfriend still hates me and the mean girls will nauseate me with their fake ‘tudes. But, there’s a big part of me that thinks it’ll be a lot of fun, and that it might be the perfect platform for forgiveness and peace.

And not for nothing, my best advice is to take a couple swift shots of tequila before attending — just enough to get you in that happy and confident place.

Let it be an evening remembering when music was good, paisley buttoned blouses and Levi’s were wardrobe staples, and let’s all cool it on the judgements and welcome everyone with open arms.