As proud parents, we celebrate all the firsts: when the baby first rolls over, the first words, the first steps, the first birthday, the first day of kindergarten, etc.
But what about the less glamorous milestones?
We’re celebrating the funnier side of raising kids and looking at 6 parenting milestones (warning to non-parents: it’s not always pretty).
6. The blowout poop.
Has your baby exploded yet? It’s the mother of all doodies, and not exactly a photo opp for the baby book. Once the explosion happens, you’ll know — poop blown all the way up your baby’s back and everywhere else. Yes, every parent has at least one story (if not twenty) of the day their baby crapped everywhere.
5. Getting puked/peed on.
If you have a boy, you’ll understand that getting peed on is par for the course. As a mother of two sons, I quickly learned how to change diapers in lightning speed. But regardless of your baby’s gender, every mom remembers the first time they got puked on by their baby — especially if you were just heading out the door in a clean top.
4. First trip to the hospital.
Whether your child has shoved a bunch of peas up his nose or there’s been a serious injury, every parent will recall their first trip to the emergency room. Somehow, you’ll remain calm for your child, but you will never forget this experience.
3. You lose your kid.
I have lost two of my three kids so far — yup, mother of the year over here. Thankfully both occasions were not serious, and I ‘found’ my kids (who were not lost in the first place) within a few minutes. I’m sorry to say that most of you will experience this horrifying parenting milestone (even though you told your child to stay close to mom). And, yes, you will need a drink after.
2. Your kid says something totally embarrassing.
From “Who stinks?” to “Where is that man’s leg?” to “Mommy, I have to poop,” our kids say the darndest things! Although you might want to bury your head in the sand, try to keep a sense of humor when your wee one drops a totally inappropriate truth bomb. And just think, it’s sure to be a funny story to tell in the future.
1. When your kid says they hate you.
Again, not exactly a hallmark moment for mom! When your kid says they hate you for the first time – and, yes, it will happen – the mommy ego takes a hit. As gutting as it is to hear, this is normal for kids to say (and think). Just remember, “I hate you” usually means, “I hate when you place limits on my behavior.” In other words, you’re doing a good job, mama!